Dominance & Submission Training For The Acting Craft

D:S for Actors.jpg
D:S for Actors.jpg

Dominance & Submission Training For The Acting Craft





Love & Humiliation

Whoever loves more will be humiliated!

Humiliation is a crucial aspect of Love stories.

In every love story, one person loves the other MORE.

The person who loves more is humiliated.

The degree to which we, the audience, are pulled into the story and able to feel the story is proportional to the degree that the player playing the less-loved lover is able to show us his or her humiliation.

Love stories turn when the person who was initially more loved is now the less loved person, and in order to regain the love that he/she initially scorned, this person now willingly humiliates himself or herself in order to regain the other’s love.

Both actors in a love story wield their true power by showing to the audience their deep humiliation in the love affair.

The triumph of love in a love story is in fact the triumph over humiliation!  One is happy to humiliate oneself in order to gain love.

At a spiritual level, we perceive this humiliation as HUMILITY.  One humbles oneself in front of love in order to be worthy of love.

D/S Training:

Explore Humiliation Play.

Explore Jealousy & Exclusion.

Explore Rejection and being someone’s second choice.


Hero’s Journey & Humiliation

Without failure, there is no hero’s journey.

Without failure, there is no journey or adventure at all.

Without failure, there is no story.

The hero’s triumph is proportional to the hero’s failure prior to the final success.

At the outer level (plot level), the hero’s failure will be specific to the setting and action of the specific story.

At the inner level, all failures cover the same ground—Deep Self-Doubt.  Deep self-loathing.  Deep Humiliation.

Without the hero first seeming to be permanently plunged into his/her self-doubt, loathing and humiliation, the hero’s triumph is meaningless.

The actor/player who can’t take the audience deep into this human morass of failure will not be able to move us.

D/S Training:

Explore failure, degradation, embarrassment, humiliation, exposure, objectification, self-loathing, surrender.


Bring Sex & Danger to EVERY Audition

I don’t care if you are playing a dancing potato chip!  Bring an undercurrent of Sex & Danger to your performance.

The person on the other side of that audition table is measuring you by one crucial metric:

  • Is this actor’s presence putting me to sleep?

  • Is this actor’s presence waking me up?

Be the latter kind of actor.

VIGILANCE is a very primal and crucial function in our brain.  It is buried way deep in the amygdala.  It functions at the reptilian level of our evolution.  

Be an actor who knows how to raise the vigilance of his/her audience at will.

Bringing an undercurrent of Sex & Danger will do the job.

Make sure it is the ACTOR who is raising the vigilance and NOT the human being!

As a human being, you want to DECREASE the vigilance of the people who are thinking of hiring you.  You want to come across as solid and grounded and not crazy and punctual and reliable and professional and amiable and open to direction.

But when you are performing…unleash the sex and danger.

Now the troubling part:  Most actors think they know how to bring the sex and the danger.  Most actors don’t!  Most actors know how to ACT sexy and how to act dangerous.  But if I catch you acting sexy or acting dangerous, my vigilance will not go up!  It will go down!  Because if it isn’t real, I don’t need to pay it any mind.

BE the sex.  BE the danger.  If you can be it, you will only have to be it very LITTLE.

Be Sex.  Don’t be sexy.

Be Danger.  Don’t be dangerous.

D/S Training:

Gain access to your sex and danger.


Charisma = Light + Dark

If you only embody the light, you will come across as so innocent and likable that the audience won’t be able to wait till you get devoured by the monster.

If you only bring the dark, you will be a caricature.

The degree to which you are able to hold the two opposites simultaneously in your system, you will generate a magnetism within yourself.

Hold the creative as well as the destructive forces of your character.

Hold the sacrificing as well as the effacing aspects.

Hold the frivolous and the tragic.

The majestic and the pitiful.

If you approach your character through the generous container of the ARCHETYPE, you will have a natural entry to this range and this polarity.

D/S Training:

  • Gain mastery into your Light as well as your Dark.

  • Become so masterful at both that you can sway from one to the other without creating any schism within yourself.

  • Learn to hold the two within yourself simultaneously.


Embody the Archetype.

Your character’s ARCHETYPE is the widest container for their humanity, their soul arc.

The layers you bring to them may look something like this:

  • Their words.

  • Their actions.

  • Their physicality.

  • Their personality.

  • Their motivation.

  • Their history.

  • Their wounding.

  • Their archetype.

Our archetypes are spacious enough to hold the polar opposites of our nature.

Archetypes are like a 3-D jig-saw puzzle for human nature.  They hold in place many pieces of our nature. And this tapestry of callings and desires and aspects brings true depth to the characters we write and act.

D/S Training:

  • Start by becoming familiar with your Dominant and Submissive archetypes.

  • Learn to embody your characters’ archetypes instead of just their words or physicality or manners or even motivation.

  • Get in touch with the light and dark of each of your own archetypes.


No Story Without a Villain!

Learn to play the bad guy, and you’ll never be out of work!

Be the hated one.

Be the broken one.

Be the dangerous one.

Be the cruel one.

Clean up your own system enough so that you can make room for the villains of humanity inside of your vessel.

Be the sadist.

Be the vengeful one.

Be the creature standing on a ledge before hell.

Go to the place where we might wonder whether God’s grace has abandoned you.

Be the thing that is being consumed by its self-loathing.

D/S Training:

  • Get in touch with those aspects of yourself that you are currently rejecting and judging.

  • Endure cruelty so you can wield cruelty.


All Story is a Tug of War Between Victim & Villain.

To be (VILLAIN) 

or not to be (VICTIM)


Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune (VICTIM)


Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles

And by opposing end them (VILLAIN)


One very effective way for an actor to mark her/his script is this:

Take two color markers:  Yellow for VICTIM.  Red for VILLAIN.


For every line or action you have in the script, mark with yellow where your character is in Victim mode on the surface level; mark in Red where your character is in Villain mode.


Repeat the same for the Subtext or internal life of your character:


  1. Victim Above. Victim Below.

  2. Victim Above. Villain Below.

  3. Villain Above. Victim Below.

  4. Villain Above. Villain Below.


These 4 configurations alone can guide your whole performance.

Make sure you bring all 4 to your performance at one point or another and you will have delivered a rich performance.

D/S Training:

Learn to be a Victim.

Learn to be a Villain.


Act With Your HEALING, Not Your WOUNDING

If your mother has died, and you have grieved her, mourned her, forgiven her, asked for her forgiveness, then you are ready to bring that personal aspect of your life to your character’s moment of loss and grief.

If your mother died and you have not mourned her, grieved her, forgiven her, and if you are playing a character who is going through a similar loss, you are going to screw yourself!

Every trigger you have is a liability to your craft.

Every piece of shame you are carrying is a liability to your craft.

Every piece of wounding you have not addressed…

Every unturned stone and leaf in your soul…

D/S Training:

Unplug your shame.

Truly get to know your sex.

Clear your wounds and triggers by turning into them within d/s scenes.


If you learn the art and craft of clearing your system BEFORE you enter your performance, that INCREASES the chances of you having an authentic moment of release and catharsis DURING performance.


Be a VESSEL For Your characters.

A vessel has three key aspects:

1.  A vessel has a FORM.  

2.  The vessel’s from has INTEGRITY.

3.  The vessel is EMPTY.


FORM:  Know yourself.  The more you have lived and observed and understood and experienced, the richer and more nuanced your Form will become.

INTEGRITY:  Clean up your house.  Clear up your blind spots and your wounding.  Otherwise your vessel will be leaky and you will not be able to hold the character wherever you are leaky.

EMPTY:  Learn how to deeply Surrender.  Perform from a state of surrender instead of from a state of Control.

Learn your lines and blocking; know your character — that’s all the Control you need.  Offer those lines and blocking and knowledge to your state of Surrender in the moments of your performance. 

D/S Training:

Know your own nature through and through.

Know your sex.

Know your darkness.

Acquire compassion for your tender aspects.

Build yourself so you may surrender yourself.


Be EXTRAordinary

Stories are all about the Extraordinary.

Extra-ordinary:  Outside the Ordinary.

Are you outside the ordinary?

Do you like being outside the ordinary?

Are you always itching to get outside the ordinary?

It’s quite possible that your core desire behind wanting to be a performer is to be able to touch the extraordinary.  So do so!

Why should we watch you?

You must give us something that we ordinary folks don’t possess.

We want to see and feel the OUTrageous.

The OUTlandish.

The EXTRAvagant.

The collusion of all these EXTRA/OUTSIDE realms is what constitutes our TABOO!

Stories are about our TABOOS!

Have you dealt with your own taboos?

Do you like LIVING in the land of taboos?

D/S Training:

Go into your taboos.

Integrate your taboos into their respective archetypes within yourself.

Learn to safely go TOO far, OUT of bounds.

Become friendly towards taboos as such.


All Story is EDGE PLAY!

A story is a Crucible.

Writers are advised:

  • Torture your characters!

  • Push your characters to their breaking point; that’s where their true nature will reveal itself.

What’s your stamina for heading to the breaking point in role after role?  Take after take?

D/S Training:

Test your limits.

Discover your limits.

Make friends with Edge Play.



Seldom will you play a character who is not pushed into the extremes of physical or emotional pain.

D/S Training:

Acquaint yourself with pain.