WHY MOST OF YOUR EPIPHANIES DON’T ADD UP TO ANYTHING.
by OM RUPANI
Epiphanies are disruptive. Epiphanies demand implementation; and the implementations of epiphanies usually demands a lot of work and a lot of change. Our epiphanies fail because most of the time we don’t give them the backing of our sweat and labor. They fail because epiphanies are like blueprints, and we never follow through with the construction.
Epiphanies and Revelations arise out of the chaotic pole of our psyche. The other pole is FORM. These two poles of Form-Chaos have a dynamic and optimal relationship that is possible. It is possible, but NOT inevitable. In fact, having an optimal and function and thriving dynamic between our Form and our Chaos is the mark of robust and balanced human beings.
Form & Chaos have certain contracts with each other. They are a team. For the individual to truly thrive, at both the internal/psychic level as well as in the outer/worldly level, this communication and balance between Form & Chaos is paramount.
And the more this balance and relationship between Form & Chaos is dysfunctional, the more havoc is unleashed in our life and in our society.
Currently, I think we are seeing the severe consequences that result when our psyche decides it has no room for or no ability to integrate its Chaotic aspect.
FORM & CHAOS RELATIONAL DYNAMICS
1. Chaos challenges and disrupts existing Form.
New ideas disrupt old ideas. New ideas challenge and are irreverent to existing ideas and mores and beliefs and institutions. New ideas are offensive. New ideas are taboo.
To the degree that an individual or a society is unable to hear, engage with, maintain its rationality and humor when faced with new and challenging and possibly rude ideas, the more staid and brittle the Form of such an individual and society will become. This individual/society will become an ideologue. It will become totalitarian. It will become increasingly censorious of the chaotic ideas as well as the individual presenting these ideas. If you have no desire to listen to or engage with ideas that challenge your existing ideas, why not just shut them down entirely? Life is more pleasant and peaceful that way.
2. Chaos is where God lives.
Chaos is the portal for inspiration and revelation. It’s worth noting that the most disruptive and pain-in-the-ass event that happened to every messiah was when God spoke to them. That was it. Their existing lives were fucked as soon as God opened his big mouth and told the messiah to go do something or gave him a new framework for how things work. God is a disruptive force. God’s revelation is a disruptive force. He will demand everything from you. So when you close the portal to God, you close the portal to God’s message. When you make an Icon of your existing order, you shun God and his inspiration.
Interestingly, you will find that those who are most fanatical about their existing ideas, their Form, come in two varieties—those who don’t believe in God at all, or those who believe in an unchanging, pre-determined, not to be questioned God that is as staid as a rock on the moon. In truth, to both the atheist and the religious fanatic, God is Dead! To the atheist, God does not exist. To the fanatic, God is an unchanging, heavy rock. In both cases, God belongs to the polarity of Form instead of Chaos. Not just form, but absolutely unchanging form. There is no room for mysticism. There is no room for revelation. There is no room for God being an integral aspect of our own soul’s growth and journey. There is no room for God as the element of Chaos in that evolving journey. So, no room for chaos = no room for God.
A particularly sociopathic side-symptom of this atheism/fanaticism is a lack of humility.
Those who adhere to their existing Form clawing-ly have to convince themselves that they hold the final wisdom. How else can they justify shunning all chaotic elements that might challenge their existing wisdom. And to so firmly believe that you are so absolutely right and others are so absolutely wrong is just one tiny hop away from justifying doing away with the ignorant and destructive others.
3. The Fountain of Chaos is Within
The others and the outside isn’t the only source of chaos. It is within. The new is trying to emerge from within us. The new is trying to enter and disrupt our existing Form. We are creatures of ideas and inspirations. And God’s true call echoes within the hearts of atheists and fanatics alike.
We do have choice in whether we chose to make room for this call of Chaos within us. When we don’t, we have to keep increasing the square footage of our basement to keep contained the growing monster down there. The less tolerant we are of the Chaotic element, the deeper and more ominous our shadow aspect grows, the more disruptive and neurotic our psyche becomes. The bigger that slithering monster in our basement, the bigger the disparity between our days and our nights, between our public face and our private face. We are on our way to becoming Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
4. No Chaos, No Sex!
Sexual ecstasy comes through the Chaos portal. Real turn-on only arises when we give up control, when we stop adhering to our Form, our persona.
To turn asexual would be the most innocuous way of burying the sexual chaos. Though this solution is not really any kind of a real or permanent possibility.
Aside from celibacy and asexuality, an intolerance for the chaotic nature of our sexual expression leads to many different varieties of misery.
Denial & Condemnation - We are like the neurotic dieting person who devours everything in his fridge late at night and the next morning makes fresh resolutions towards moderation and restraint. People will get their sex on the fly, when drunk, with strangers, when out of town, in one-night hook-ups. And make resolutions the next morning to not do that again, or simply bury this aspect of their life in the basement and put on their morning mask and head to work. Again - Sexual Jekyll & Hydes. I have known many a gal declare herself a born-again virgin after a long stretch of fruitless and soul-crushing promiscuity.
Attack The Lover - Assign blame for all your doings to the other person. Make them the culprit who brought the element of chaos into your life: ‘He made me do it.’ This is a path women are particularly prone to. The more in shadow a woman is about owning her sexual desire and owning what kinds of sex actually get her off, the more she is likely to eat her cake at night and blame her lover for forcing her to eat the cake the next morning.
This is an abominable and morally corrupt way to live. I believe in Karma. And the women of today are accumulating a shit-load of bad karma the way they are making men suffer for their own neurosis around sex.
It frightens women just how big and powerful the chaotic force is in their sex. They take a peek in there and feel overwhelmed by what they see, what they find. Most of them can’t figure out how to possibly integrate their sex fully or gracefully into their day-time persona. And to some degree this is understandable. How does one go about as a professional woman at a prominent magazine or as a lawyer or politician or surgeon during the day while going into consensual non-consent dynamic at night? That’s for you gals to figure out. But until you do, others are paying for your shadow and your lack of clarity.
5. No Chaos, No Creativity.
Good ideas come from exactly the same portal as bad ideas. If you close off the tap of NEW ideas, you screw yourself as far as your genius goes.
Genius is also a disruptive force. Most of the time, it is a downright destructive force. Genius usually wants to build something new in exactly the same spot where something old and cherished is standing. So if you are faithfully and eternally married to your existing Form, no genius for you.
The saying goes: Greatness is 5% inspiration, 95% perspiration. It’s a good saying. Inspiration is infectious, seed-like. 5% is plenty. If you put the needed perspiration into the inspiration that comes from the Chaos polarity, you can indeed live a thriving and inspired life. You can live on the cusp of your greatness. But be prepared for the continual demolition of your Form if this is to take place. Your outer world will have to be reshaped to make room for your inspiration. And your inner world, your self-concepts, your persona will also have to be reshaped if you are to truly respect God’s inspiration and the ecstasy that comes through your sex.
Integrate Your Chaos into Your Form = Dynamically Live Your Inspiration, Ecstasy & Genius.
Close off Your Chaos = Fanatical Adherence to Existing Form and Ideology.
Shadowy Indulgences In Your Chaos = Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde.