Unhappy women are the bane of the universe.

If you are unhappy, your man is losing.

A woman’s unhappiness grinds a man’s spirit into the mud.  A happy woman inspires her man off the dirt when he’s been knocked down.

Give your man a path towards making you happy.  Notice everyday if this path is open and clear.  Tend to this path.  Clear debris off this path regularly.  Plant flowers along this path.  Keep it well lit.

The conditions you place upon your happiness renders your path like a rainforest.  Now your man has to pull out a machete and hack his way through.  This will wear him down.  This is a waste of his life energy and resources.  You should really find better uses for his life energy and resources than putting up unnecessary obstacles in his core desire to make you happy.

Unhappy women are misusing their men.  An unhappy woman will never get the best out of her man.  Your unhappiness renders your man mediocre and worn and defeated.

Your happiness makes him bigger.  Your misery shrinks his spirit.  What kind of man do you want to be with?

When you are thinking of jumping ship to another man, chances are that to the new man you are offering a clear, well-lit path towards making you happy, and with your current man you have become an uncrossable jungle of misery.  It’s not the new man; it’s you.

Never compete with your man.

Your man does not want to compete with you.

Your competition is rooted in your addiction to your misery.

Competing with your man is a reckless misuse of your collective, available resources.  It’s life-energy down the drain.  Never set up any scenarios in which his loss is your win or his win is your loss.  Lose together.  Win together.

When you lose together, you will be warriors together, swords out, back to back, taking on the dragons of life.  These battles will prove your mettle together.  You will come out on the other side all grown up and proud, standing erect, admiring each other.

When you are winning together, you will generate Enjoyment, Celebration, Fun.

Fun is one of the highest states of being possible.  Fun is one of the lightest and most playful frequencies of happiness.  

Cultivate that frequency on your own.  Cultivate it with the women in your life.  Bring that fun home and put it on your man.

Never sabotage the fun your man generates with other men.  This fun is tremendously generative.  Be a catalyst towards it.  If the two of you are clear and winning with each other, the fun he generates out there will return to you and enrich your life.

Allow him to create fun for you.


Be easy to make happy.  Be easy to turn on.  Be easy to let go and forgive.

Grudges will put lines on your face.

The easier you are, the bigger the castles your man will build for you.  I know… that’s not what you’ve been taught.  What you’ve been taught isn’t working.  Have you noticed?

It takes greater strength to be easy.  Weak and broken people are harder.  Do your work instead of glorifying stories of how big and tough you are to handle.  Big and tough women are gracious and a breeze to be with.

Graciousness is high practice.  Graciousness is high achievement.  It’s all over all the feminine archetypes — Muse, Courtesan, Priestess, Matron, Goddess.  By their graciousness you will recognize them.  

That graciousness is rest and fuel for your man.  In that graciousness he comes and falls tired.  In that graciousness he awakens recharged ready to take on the world.

That graciousness and ease is the thread that brings men back to their women from far-flung corners of the world.  It is the sliver string in his longing for you.  It is what keeps him up nights, aching for you when you are not there.   It makes all the hardships of life worthwhile—returning home to the gracious feminine.  It is life itself.  It is the end to all means.

It’s what we are searching for. 

It’s what’s missing in our life when we have triumphed in the material world alone.  It is that for which we build worlds.  It is that which we struggle to be worthy of.  It is that which we want to attain the most in exchange for our riches.

It is promise.

It is fulfillment.

Having it in one’s life feels like we have hit the mark.  That we did it right. 

It is the biggest marker of our success as men.


Keep your word.  As your word crumbles, so does your world.

It is the thread and brick of your magic in the world.  If you can’t keep your word from one day to the next, what spells do you think you will cast with those words?  You dispel your spells by changing or abandoning your word.  You cut down your own arrow mid-flight.

Stay true.  Stay true to your mark.  Your word is your mark.  Your promises are your mark.  Do not sell your mark to whimsy.  Do not claim the cover of female temperament to break your word.  You dishonor the feminine when you make that claim.  We limit and disrupt our own path forward when we break our word.

Keep your promises.

And never punish your man for keeping his promises.  The purpose of promises was to bring greater happiness between the two.  What else do people promise?  What else are promises between us for?  Promises are a tool for the better.  When he keeps his promises to you, do you feel your life is better?  Does he feel his life is better because he is keeping his word to you?  Or have his promises come to feel less and less over time?  Are they depreciating in your eyes?  You want more?  More than what was promised?

Don’t veil the breaking of promises under your ‘growth’.

Try keeping your word, you’ll know what growth really is.  Struggle to keep your word.  Tremble under its weight.  What’s the point of promises if you are not able to let them bend you at the knees and overwhelm you from time to time?

You want a passionate and deep life?  Keep your word!

Or, if you want a life that in retrospect looks like chopped up Swiss cheese…scattered pieces that are missing pieces themselves…slip-slide in your word all over the place!

Never resent your man for what he is building in the world.  That is his magic!  To pick up dirt in his fist and to make something out of nothing.  This magic’s ultimate end is to win you by means of what he creates in the world.  When you disrupt or diminish his magic in the world, you impoverish yourself.  Your magic is so powerful that with it you can increase and diminish your man.  Which way do you want to go?

Make your man bigger.  That is the singular promise at the core of the light-feminine.  One polarity of woman leaves a man bigger.  The other polarity leaves him smaller.  Which one do you want to occupy?

What is your magic in this world?

—Om Rupani